Balancing work and/or school plus a family can be incredibly stressful. Since having Gio I’ve taken a few courses, until this year that I stopped, and I worked for a full two weeks this last month, lol, and experienced MAJOR guilt and stress, mainly unnecessary stress but that’s a whole story in itself.
Before questions start, I decided to stop going to school because of 1.) money. It really is a lot to figure out the money for courses, for books, for supplies… My parents were a huge help, and I’m so grateful, but I just didn’t want to continue stressing about it.
2.) It was hard to find classes that fit my family’s schedule, which is the same issue I had with work. My parents lives hours away so Erwin and I really don’t have help when it comes to who can watch Gio for us. So if I look into courses or work schedules it has to work with Erwin’s already full-time schedule. Yes, I do know there’s daycares but honestly, it’s not worth it for me to work to only pay off daycare. Daycare can be so pricy.
While going to school and working I did learn a lot on how to better manage my time and take better care of my family and myself without feeling too stressed all the time. So hopefully some of the following tips can help some of you!
- Don’t be afraid to ask for help or don’t feel like you shouldn’t need to ask for help. I always felt like I needed to do it all on my own and never had a moment to relax. I was always cleaning, studying, cooking, giving baths, laundry, etc., that I forgot to take care of myself, sit down to play with my baby and was too tired to give attention to my relationship.
- Take care of yourself. Take a nice long bath, have a good workout, read a book, write in a journal- do something good for you, your mind, your soul, your body, and you’ll see what a difference it will make in the way you feel and think.
- If you’re in school and have a test coming up or simply want to study, ask your partner to take the kids out for a while or go to a quieter place in your home and have your partner be with the kids. Trust me, they really don’t mind. It’s just us over working our brains making us feel guilty. If it’s just you, it’s ok to have quiet time with the kids- put on their favorite movie, have them color, let them take a bath, put them down for a nap.
- Don’t lose yourself in the chaos of family, school and/or work. I’m not going to lie, I really lost myself at one point but slowly I’ve been putting myself back together. Don’t lose touch with who you are. Maybe you can’t do things as often as before but do your best to find the time to go paint, go take pictures, write on your blog, have drinks with friends, watch a movie with your partner, sit down and watch football with your kids, have your family attend your soccer games. Do what you love, share your passions, it’ll make for a happier life.
- If you can, have a routine. For me this was a bit hard to do but I almost always managed to have a nap time and bedtime for Gio which really helped me be able to coordinate better when I would do school work and/or house work, and also when I’d have a chance to be with Erwin or have my self care times. I also had specific days for when I’d get stuff done. For example: Monday and Thursday I’d do the big housework and grocery shopping.
- If you and your partner both work, try to have the same day off. With work and kids, maybe even school, it’s hard to find time for your relationship but it’s important to do so. It’s always nice to be with Erwin on his day off, even if it’s just to run errands.
To those of you who work and/or go to school plus have a family, I commend you. It really is A LOT of work. I know at times it can get really hard and incredibly stressful but I promise it doesn’t stay like that forever. All the studying, hard work, long nights, long shifts, it’s all worth it- just remember to always take care of yourself too. You are also important!
OH and before I go, make sure to work for someone or a company that understands your home life and that doesn’t stress you out over it. Unfortunately I went somewhere that promised to work with me but in the end didn’t and I had to leave.
Thank you for reading and I really hope this helps some of you out! xo